Saturday, February 03, 2007

Wet Birthday Suits

As Martha Stewart says, "It's a good thing," as she bends over to dominate your nether region with her fist. helpless little bunnies are gathering support for their matrix theology group that meets at the local meat packing plant. Nobody ever asks about the Purple Eskimo in the corner. They kind of just let the Saudi Arabians wrestle the antelope with chicken-wire until their pants fall off from laughing at their inebriated grandmothers.

Edible crotchless pantie liners, and homeless people battling each other with broken Wii-mote straps until their brains bleed from an overdose of chicken pot pie. No, Popeye didn't enter the Olympics this trimester. He didn't have enough toilet paper to raid Game-stop's sale on dead rats and Pokemon feces.

The president is drafting up new constitution that would allow multi-gendered kindergarten basketball coaches to sell crack to underage prostitutes while singing the Canadian national anthem backwards with his or her clothes from a Jamaican sweatshop conveniently located on the border of Berlin and Moscow. Apples and Tangerines may taste good out of the sundial but the german kite makers aren't going to be very happy when they find out there highest ranking yuppie franchise isn't going to make it past it's first fiscal quarter.

If it were up to me, I wouldn't even want to dance with those hippies. They smell of whiskey and fresh-squeezed baby oil. I can't even radio it into the authorities because they don't believe in a economic system entirely dependent on Neil Patrick Harris blow-up dolls.

Labels:

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home